How To Become A Priority If She Takes You For Granted

Summary

Coach Corey Wayne responds to a viewer who feels undervalued in a nine-month relationship. The viewer says his girlfriend is inconsistent in her communication and often doesn’t respond to messages, while he tends to initiate contact, offer support, and seek reassurance. Wayne argues that the viewer’s repeated pursuit and complaints are making the relationship feel unbalanced.

Wayne’s central recommendation is to resist the impulse to “fix” the relationship with more messages or demands. He advises giving the girlfriend space, paying attention to her actions, and investing in one’s own life rather than treating her attention as a measure of self-worth. His advice is presented through strongly gendered ideas about dating and attraction; these are the speaker’s views, not established facts.

Key Strategies Discussed

• Pause before acting on anxiety. Wayne describes the urge to send more messages or press for reassurance as an “illusion of action.” He recommends stepping back rather than trying to persuade someone to feel more interested.
• Match the other person’s level of effort. If she communicates slowly or minimally, he advises responding at a similar pace—not as punishment, but to avoid carrying the whole interaction.
• Let behavior provide information. Rather than repeatedly arguing about feeling ignored or undervalued, observe whether the other person makes an effort and consider what that means for the relationship.
• Offer support without pressure. For example, offer to talk after difficult news, then leave the choice to the other person instead of repeatedly following up.
• Maintain an independent life. Wayne urges the viewer to pursue hobbies and interests rather than making the relationship the center of his attention.
• Avoid seeking reassurance through complaints. He argues that repeated demands for affection, communication, or validation can create more conflict instead of resolving the underlying mismatch.
• Consider whether the relationship is right for you. If the other person’s actions consistently indicate low interest, Wayne says to reassess the relationship rather than trying harder to win them over.
• Review and apply lessons consistently. He encourages the viewer to revisit his book, How to Be a 3% Man, and says that reading advice without changing behavior is ineffective.

Presenters and Sources

• Presenter: Coach Corey Wayne
• Other sources and references mentioned: The viewer’s email; How to Be a 3% Man; Rumi; It’s a Wonderful Life (with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed); Tom Petty; Yoda from Star Wars.