NINJA ASSASSIN (2009) - Retro Review

Plot

Ninja Assassin is a straightforward revenge story. After a string of mysterious killings, an Interpol agent discovers that ninjas are real and becomes a target herself. She joins forces with Raizo, a rogue ninja played by Rain, to take on his former clan.

Action and Humor

The film’s main draw is its elaborate, often gory action: chain-blade fights, throwing stars that shred their targets, and ninjas who appear seemingly out of nowhere. The reviewer also laughs at a familiar martial-arts cliché: one ninja can seem nearly unstoppable, while an entire army can be dispatched like “a row of Goombas.”

Between plot points, the reviewer takes two tangents. First, he objects to The Giving Tree, arguing that its lesson amounts to praising someone for giving everything to an ungrateful person. Then he returns to ninjas and their curious power scaling.

Review

The reviewer’s central criticism is that the film’s strengths and weaknesses come from the same place: it spends a lot of money trying to recreate the feel of low-budget ’80s ninja movies. The result is slick visuals and entertaining action, but also formulaic storytelling, perfunctory dialogue, and uneven performances.

At first, he considers it a fun but forgettable collection of highlights. Looking back, he appreciates the film more and concludes that it “kicks a lot of ass,” even if some CGI and the plot’s “heart on the wrong side” business still seem goofy.

People Mentioned

• Bob Chipman — Reviewer
• Rain — Raizo
• Shō Kosugi — Ninja-clan veteran
• Shel Silverstein — Mentioned in the Giving Tree tangent