Video summary

The History and Secrets of How Lesbians Have S*x

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News and Commentary

Overview

The episode from Queer Collective podcast argues that lesbian/sapphic sexuality has been repeatedly diminished, erased, and misrepresented by patriarchal power—especially through:

  • lack of documentation
  • legal and cultural suppression
  • stereotypes that reframe women’s same-sex intimacy as “friendship” or “non-sex”

It also frames “invisibility” as both harm and a survival strategy, including examples of lesbians living as “roommates” with plausible deniability.

Throughline: lesbian sexuality has always existed, but its visibility depends heavily on who controls laws, publishing, and cultural labeling.

Core claims about erasure and invisibility

  • Patriarchy suppressed evidence and discourse

    • Restrictions on women’s publishing, education, property ownership, and ability to publicly articulate sexual desire
    • Result: explicit lesbian sexual records become scarce, especially before the 20th century

  • Male-authored erotica shaped what’s “known”

    • Sapphic pornography was often produced by men for male audiences
    • This affected how lesbian sexuality was represented in surviving accounts

  • Legal and cultural systems refused to treat it as sexual

    • In some places (e.g., Britain/Canada), female same-sex activity was allegedly not widely criminalized because lawmakers treated it as something that “didn’t exist,” while male same-sex activity was explicitly criminalized
    • The episode claims Parliament’s discussion of the 1885 Labouchere Amendment allegedly excluded women from “sex between women” by reasoning that acknowledging it would “put ideas into their heads”

  • Neutral labeling de-sexualized sapphic intimacy

    • “Good friends” and “roommates” tropes are described as tools for stripping erotic meaning from women’s relationships

  • Lesbian invisibility as protection and control

    • The same cultural erasure that hid lesbian sex is also described as a tool of control
    • Yet lesbians also used invisibility to build long-term relationships, often under plausible deniability

Stereotypes and sexual desire (and why they persist)

The hosts challenge several common myths:

  • “Men have higher sex drives”

    • The episode cites claims that testosterone contributes to higher average libido in male bodies
    • It also emphasizes overlap, including a claim that about one third of females may have higher sex drive than average males

  • Women’s desire is framed as more variable and context-dependent

    • The episode argues this variability fuels harmful myths such as:
      • women being “pure”
      • women being uninterested in sex
      • men needing more partners to satisfy “their nature”

  • Orientation stereotypes

    • Lesbians as universally monogamous “U-haulers”
    • Gay men as universally non-exclusive and seeking casual sex
    • The episode argues these patterns are partly socialized and may be shaped by safety, stigma, and opportunity—not universal desire

Safety and sapphic-only spaces as a driver of visibility

A major analysis is that sapphic people may feel safer being sexual in environments without men—creating a self-fulfilling prophecy:

  • Women-only events (including strip/cruising-type gatherings) are described as:

    • highly sexual
    • consent-based
    • boundary-checking-focused
    • and often selling out

  • Co-ed or male-present spaces are described as:

    • more threatening
    • more likely to lead to targeting or unwanted sexualization
    • therefore making sapphic intimacy more visible in women-only settings

  • The episode links this pattern to broader misogyny and trans-misogyny

    • changes in femininity or gender expression may increase vulnerability to harassment or violence

Historical timeline: selected “evidence” and interpretations

1. Ancient Greece & Rome

  • Sappho is framed as a foundational poetic source for women’s love and desire
  • The episode argues explicit women-loving-women erotica is nearly absent in records compared to male same-sex content
  • Pompeii frescoes are cited as depicting a “sexual menu,” where women together appear on the “disapproved” side:
    • suggesting Roman culture recognized lesbian sex
    • but viewed it as improper or less coherent
    • without penalizing male pairings in the same way

2. Ancient India

  • The Kama Sutra is presented as containing explicit references to women’s same-sex behavior, including:
    • practices involving fingers
    • oral sex
    • use of objects
  • It’s noted as not necessarily moral law, but rather descriptive/erotic guidance

3. Medieval Europe

  • The episode argues Christianization increased moral shaming of women’s same-sex sex
  • Key case study: Katherina Hetzeldorfer (1477) in the Spire/Switzerland-Germany area
    • portrayed as one of the first recorded woman-on-woman sex trials
    • ended in drowning
  • The trial record is said to include:
    • use of an instrument (described as strap-on-like)
  • Punishment is interpreted as tied not only to sex but also to:
    • gender transgression
    • penetration with a phallic tool threatening patriarchal roles
  • The episode discusses debates about mapping modern identities onto historical individuals, concluding you can’t do so cleanly

4. Medieval Islamic world (as a “surprising” contrast)

  • The episode claims 9th–14th century Islamic courts/literary culture produced lesbian erotica and sex manuals, including:
    • erotic poetry about women desiring women
    • literary spaces where metaphor and satire could explore taboo safely
  • It cites references to “lesbian teachers,” descriptions of sexual sounds, and an idea of a “community” of lesbians (as portrayed in those texts)
  • It also relays pseudo-scientific explanations for lesbianism (e.g., an “itch” theory attributed to Al-Kindi) as examples of men trying to explain women’s desire via bodily fantasies

5. Early modern / Renaissance Europe

  • The hosts describe heightened sex anxiety and male-authored sexual literature
  • Example: a 1638 play where a wife’s same-sex erotic contact is treated casually
    • used to suggest “sexual orientation” identity wasn’t the primary framework
    • the story frames sex differently (spouse vs. non-spouse)
  • Medical myths highlighted, including:
    • orgasm being essential to conception
    • “womb suffocation” resulting from lack of sex

6. 19th–20th centuries: Zanzibar & “ebony penis”

  • An ethnographic claim from 1899 Zanzibar is presented as evidence of women using strap-on-like devices:
    • crafted from ebony wood
    • sometimes warmed with water to mimic ejaculation
    • sold secretly

7. World War II and the lesbian leather dyke movement

  • Post-war women’s independence (from wartime labor) + motorcycle culture:
    • becomes a space for visible identity and protection
  • The episode traces lesbian leather/kink communities:
    • rise of butch/fem dynamics and BDSM-coded language
    • formation of lesbian motorcycle clubs (e.g., Van Dykes, then others)
    • expansion into broader kink theory and sex-positive feminism
  • It highlights Gail Rubin and her influential 1982 essay “Thinking Sex”
    • for legitimizing sexuality study
    • and opposing moralizing control
  • It also notes that:
    • lesbians of color and multi-racial clubs existed
    • but were underdocumented
    • including an oral history describing a multi-racial dyke biker community

8. Prisons

The episode describes a typology of women’s prison same-sex dynamics (emphasizing it’s not a single “type”):

  • consensual long-term relationships (“true homosexuality”)
  • situational sex due to the absence of men
  • pseudo-family structures (mothers/daughters/wives) with coping and power dynamics
  • it explicitly notes coercion/abuse as a documented category, but says it won’t dwell on it

It also connects queer incarceration in NYC prisons to early gay rights activism and to the Stonewall context (as argued by Hugh Ryan).

Tone and concluding takeaway

Across the periods, the episode’s main message is that:

  • lesbian sexuality has always existed
  • but visibility is shaped by control over laws, publishing, and cultural labeling
  • sapphic desire often becomes more openly expressed when men are removed and/or when communities build safety and consent cultures
  • modern myths about “low female desire” and fixed lesbian stereotypes are challenged using:
    • sexology-style arguments
    • accounts of lived queer community practices

Presenters / contributors (mentioned)

  • Carbon (host)
  • Emily (co-host)
  • Heather Burpee and Carol Newhouse (referenced for an oral history)
  • Eleanor Scott (writer quoted/mentioned)
  • Karen Christie (historian mentioned)
  • Gail Rubin (“Thinking Sex”)
  • Pat Califia (referenced for lesbian BDSM organizing)
  • Michael Habberlant (ethnographic author referenced)
  • Al-Kindi (philosopher referenced)
  • John of Gatiston (medieval doctor referenced)
  • Hugh Ryan (The Women’s House of Detention)
  • Judith C. Brown (book on the Renaissance lesbian nun referenced)
  • Field (dating-app sponsor; hosts discuss Field events)
  • Vizy (beverage sponsor)
  • Lemona Commando / Lameon Commando (underwear sponsor)

Original video