Buddhist Monk: Why You’re Angry. Living in Fight or Flight! The Biggest Toxins Are In Your Mind.

Summary

Gelong Thubten and Davina McCall discuss meditation, stress, self-acceptance, anger, grief, and the pressures of modern life. Thubten argues that meditation is not about clearing the mind; it is a way to build a kinder, more deliberate relationship with thoughts and feelings. The conversation also explores how constant notifications and pressure to stay busy can keep people in a state of “fight or flight.”

Key Wellness Strategies and Ideas

• Treat thoughts as part of meditation, not a failure. When you notice your mind has wandered, gently return your attention to your breath. The noticing and returning are the practice; there is no need to force thoughts away.
• Practise self-compassion and acceptance. Difficult feelings may surface when distractions fall away. Rather than judging yourself for having them, try acknowledging them and making space for them.
• Work with difficult emotions directly. Thubten describes bringing attention to the physical sensations of pain, fear, or anger instead of immediately trying to suppress them. With anger, he suggests turning kindness toward the feeling itself—not excusing harmful behaviour.
• Use small “micro-moments” of mindfulness. Briefly notice sensations such as your feet on the ground, your shoulders, your breathing, or water on your hands. Everyday tasks like washing your hands or brushing your teeth can become prompts to be present.
• Practise during waiting time. Queues, traffic, and delays can be opportunities to notice your body and relax, rather than automatically becoming frustrated. Repeating this when things are relatively easy can make the skill more available during stressful moments.
• Balance phone use with mindful pauses. Thubten acknowledges that phones can be difficult to avoid and suggests using brief meditation moments to counterbalance frequent checking. He also recommends choosing to share positive, useful messages on social media.
• Take stress seriously. The conversation challenges the idea that being constantly busy is a sign of success. Meditation is presented as one way to reduce habitual activation of the fight-or-flight response.
• Build resilience by allowing discomfort. The speakers question the pressure to be comfortable and happy all the time. Thubten suggests that experiences of unhappiness can, in time, contribute to strength and learning.
• Reflect on impermanence and grief. Thubten recommends acknowledging that life and relationships are finite. He suggests this can help people value their time and connections, while noting that it does not make loss painless.
• Understand forgiveness as inner work. In situations involving harm, forgiveness is framed as a way to loosen the burden of painful feelings—not as condoning what happened or staying in danger. Thubten stresses that people should leave toxic or dangerous situations.
• Begin with a manageable routine. Thubten says even 10–20 minutes of seated meditation can be worthwhile, alongside shorter mindful moments throughout the day.

Guided Meditation Shared in the Episode

1. Sit in a comfortable, upright position, on a chair or elsewhere.
2. Notice your body’s weight, your hands, and the support beneath you.
3. Set a compassionate intention, such as practising for your own benefit and the benefit of others.
4. Relax your shoulders, face, and other muscles.
5. Let your breathing remain natural and notice the breath in your chest or belly.
6. When distracted, gently return your attention to the breath.
7. Finish by noticing your hands, the chair, and the ground beneath your feet.

Presenters and Sources

• Presenters: Gelong Thubten and Davina McCall
• Book discussed: Handbook for Hard Times by Gelong Thubten
• Other named reference: Johan Hari is mentioned in connection with a book title that appears unclear in the subtitles.