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Ozzy Man Reviews: Spandex Models and Life

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Entertainment

Summary

Ozzy Man watches a home-shopping segment selling Italian clothing and becomes captivated by models Sammy and Deborah in snug spandex. He jokes that Sammy’s purple outfit needs no pants, then narrates her spin and stop as though it’s a major event.

The segment grows especially awkward when an older woman touches a model’s chest while demonstrating how securely the garment fits. Ozzy mock-dramatically calls the show “confronting” and claims that women in comfy spandex are what keep life—and civilization—going.

He also casts the models as apocalypse survival motivators: when zombies come, he’ll be ready to forage, provided someone can get him his credit card.

People

  • Ozzy Man — Voice-over commentator
  • Sammy — Clothing model
  • Deborah — Clothing model
  • Older woman — Presents the clothing

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