Advice I wish someone gave me when I was a loser

Summary

Hamza Ahmed shares three pieces of advice he wishes he had received as a young man. His overall message is to focus on self-development, financial independence, and disciplined habits. Some of his relationship and gender-related claims are personal opinions and broad generalizations, rather than established facts.

1. Limit dating distractions while building your life

• He recommends a temporary period of “monk mode”—for example, a few months or until a specific goal is reached—when dating and romantic texting take a back seat to fitness, finances, education, or work.
• He argues that romantic preoccupation can consume more attention than the time spent on dates or messages alone.
• He advises setting clear standards in relationships and not taking on the role of trying to “fix” or “save” someone.
• He distinguishes between dating someone whose positive habits and goals are already established and hoping a partner will change later.
• He suggests thinking about whether you are in a “kingdom-building” phase—figuring out your career, values, and where to live—or a later phase of stability and family life. He believes serious commitment should fit that life stage.
• In his view, monk mode should not mean social isolation. Keep talking to people, making friends, and practising conversation, including with women, without making dating the main priority.

2. Take money and financial skills seriously

• Ahmed says money becomes increasingly important after school and can provide security, options, and the ability to support loved ones.
• He recommends learning how to earn money and spending time around people who take entrepreneurship and financial goals seriously.
• He describes how an entrepreneur friend’s enthusiasm about a product idea motivated him to pursue a business opportunity.
• He cautions against dismissing financial ambition as inherently bad, presenting this as his own perspective on money and success.

3. Reduce instant gratification and choose effortful habits

• He contrasts instant gratification—pleasure now with possible costs later—with delayed gratification—effort or discomfort now for longer-term benefits.
• Examples of habits he recommends reducing include junk food, staying up late, drug use, and excessive gaming or passive screen time.
• Examples of delayed-gratification habits he recommends include:
  • Going to the gym
  • Eating nutritious food
  • Meditating
  • Working consistently toward fitness or career goals
• He argues that sustained healthy habits can improve how you feel over time, while the short-lived pleasure of indulgent habits may come with lasting costs.
• He does not call for avoiding every treat or leisure activity. He favors enjoying food, entertainment, or alcohol in social and meaningful settings rather than using them as routine, solitary escapes.
• His broader productivity message is to tolerate discomfort and keep working toward long-term goals rather than defaulting to comfort. He strongly criticizes advice to slow down, though his presentation is deliberately forceful and offers little discussion of rest or moderation.

Presenters and sources mentioned

• Presenter: Hamza Ahmed
• Andrew Kirby: Friend whose business advice Ahmed says helped inspire a product launch.
• Chris: Friend credited with sharing an idea about different timelines for men and women.
• Unnamed woman entrepreneur: Mentioned as someone whose attitude toward money influenced Ahmed.