Bagaimana Sabar yang Benar? | Ustad Muhammad Nuzul Dzikri

Patience (Sabr)

Patience is not effortless calm or simply enduring hardship. It involves actively restraining oneself when facing what Allah has decreed. This restraint can be difficult and tiring; that difficulty is part of the process.

The speaker presents patience as having three pillars:

1. Restrain the self and its impulses. Do not rebel against or resentfully resist what Allah has decreed. Work toward accepting the test and facing it with steadiness.

2. Restrain the tongue. Avoid sinful speech, harmful words, gossip, and uncontrolled complaining. This does not mean bottling up distress or facing it alone. The speaker advises turning to Allah and, when help is needed, seeking guidance from appropriate people—such as those who can offer advice grounded in the Qur’an and the teachings of the Prophet.

He cautions against indiscriminately sharing private distress or posting it on social media, which can create further problems. To illustrate where a believer can bring grief, the speaker cites Prophet Ya‘qub, who directed his anguish and sorrow to Allah. He also refers to the Qur’anic teaching that hearts find tranquility through remembering Allah.

1. Restrain the body from sinful actions. Do not let distress lead to excessive physical reactions, such as throwing things, slamming doors, tearing clothing, or striking or pushing others. The speaker applies this principle to family conflicts and urges people to control their actions as well as their words and impulses.

These three pillars can be applied in everyday situations, such as dealing with children or a spouse, by checking one’s impulses, speech, and actions. The speaker notes that people are often told simply to “be patient” without being shown what patience entails. His explanation is that patience means holding back in all three areas.

Speakers and Sources Mentioned

• Ustadz Muhammad Nuzul Dzikri — the lecturer and main speaker.
• Ibn al-Qayyim — cited on the three pillars of patience.
• The Qur’an — Ar-Ra‘d 13:28 on remembrance of Allah and tranquility of the heart; Yusuf 12:86, where Ya‘qub directs his grief to Allah.
• Prophet Ya‘qub — cited as an example of turning sorrow to Allah.
• Prophet Muhammad — referenced in connection with a teaching about patience; the speaker also mentions Riyadh al-Salihin.