Почему давно не было роликов?

Overview

The presenter explains that the long gap between uploads on his channel (the longest he’s had: 9 weeks) is due to a personal tragedy and its aftermath.

Personal Loss and Mourning

• He says his girlfriend (with whom he lived for about 8 months) died.
• He refuses to share detailed circumstances, describing the situation as an extremely severe event.
• He records the video on July 14 and says he has been in a difficult state for roughly three months and a day.

Psychological and Physical Deterioration Over Time

First days (about 3–4 days)

• Shock
• Poor eating
• Almost no sleep (around 3 hours)
• Feeling unable to function normally

First month

• He describes a “mobilized” period:
  • Repeated crying
  • Yet still managing to create content
• He connects this phase to working on and finishing a long video project, including Arnold’s Triumph, which he started earlier and completed after the death.

After ~1 month / ~5 weeks

• A shift into psychological shock
• Decline in vitality
• Psychosomatic problems

Back pain period (around May 20 to early/mid July)

• Severe stress-related pain centered in his back
• He treated it (including anti-inflammatory medication like ibuprofen)
• He says the pain is now much improved, with about a week without the acute pain
• This improvement allows him to walk, sit, and lie down with less difficulty

Chest / “solar plexus” and digestive symptoms

• He reports intense crying leading to suppressed crying-related pain
• Symptoms he describes include:
  • Stabbing/penetrating pain in the solar plexus area
  • Phantom nausea sensations
  • Psychosomatic vomiting
  • Psychosomatic heartburn (worst heartburn of his life)
• He frames these symptoms as stress/crying manifesting physically, especially involving the diaphragm area

Coping and Support

• He emphasizes that people need distraction, and that working on something he loves helped.
• He specifically credits a game, Expedition 33, for helping him through themes of death.
• He also considers doing a philosophical analysis of death in relation to the game.

Channel-Related Explanation and Mental Load

He says running the channel has been hard and explains several reasons:

• Content pressure: His content is mainly mathematics, which he feels ties him to a “stuffy” academic atmosphere and creates pressure to be correct.

• Internal self-censorship: He avoids stating things he isn’t fully confident are accurate, fearing criticism and responsibility.

• Difficulty handling certain audiences: He finds it hard to deal with highly educated viewers who are “too smart/stuffy” and challenge content aggressively.

  • Example: he stopped trying to write about psychoanalysis after intense criticism from self-proclaimed specialists.
  • Despite overall positive feedback: Even though his videos receive statistically strong positive reactions (very high like-to-dislike rates and positive comments), he still struggles with alternative opinions and criticism.

Next Steps and Request for Support

• He says he may take a break, but plans to resume soon.
• He expects a new video in about three weeks, describing it as “non-standard” and interesting.
• He thanks viewers and asks for support, including mentioning Boost for financial support.
• He says that explaining everything has made him feel better and that he hopes the audience understands.

Presenters or Contributors

• The channel presenter/author (speaking directly in the video; no name provided in the subtitles).