Summary of What Is An Avoidants Idea Of A Healthy Relationship?
The video discusses the avoidant attachment style and how they perceive healthy relationships differently from others.
Avoidants view comfort and independence as key in relationships, which can create a disconnect with their partners.
The self-fulfilling cycle of avoidants involves seeking love, feeling triggered by emotional intimacy, leaving the relationship, feeling lonely, and repeating the cycle.
Avoidants struggle with emotional intimacy due to their upbringing and self-soothing habits.
secure attachment gravity concept suggests that being in a relationship with a secure partner can help an avoidant become more secure.
A client's experience shows that being with a secure partner may not automatically fix an avoidant's issues but can prevent triggers and encourage self-analysis.
To have a healthy relationship with an avoidant, it is essential to have secure characteristics, understand their needs, and encourage self-analysis.
Presenters/Sources
- John Bowlby
- Simply Psychology
- Chris Seiter (Ex-Boyfriend Recovery)
Notable Quotes
— 03:41 — « avoidance often get caught in this self-fulfilling cycle »
— 09:08 — « it feels unnatural to them to do that after all theyve spent their entire lives self-soothing »
— 11:19 — « theres a certain level of reciprocation thats regarded within relationships that is expected but the avoidance dont enjoy doing that at all »
— 13:07 — « if you get into a relationship with that person who has a secure attachment style you will begin to be led and learn how to be more secure yourself »
— 15:13 — « your secure tendencies will actually force the avoidant to do the self-analysis required to be aware of some of the avoiding gaps »
Category
Wellness and Self-Improvement