Every Female Sh*t Test Explained (+ What to Say)

Summary

Todd presents a tiered guide to remarks and situations he calls “tests.” He argues that men should first assess what is happening rather than treating every awkward comment as a challenge. In his framework, some remarks are ordinary conversation or signs of interest, while others are rejections or insults. These rankings and interpretations are the speaker’s opinions, not universal rules.

Main approach

• Distinguish a test from a rejection, insult, or ordinary question. Misreading a situation can lead to defensive or inappropriate responses.
• Stay calm and avoid overreacting. For many comments, he recommends changing the subject, keeping the exchange light, or continuing the conversation naturally.
• Pay attention to context. The same words may signal interest, a practical need, or a wish to end the interaction.
• Respect a clear rejection. He advises backing off when someone is actively rejecting you rather than arguing or demanding explanations.

Difficult situations or signs the interaction may be ending

• “I have a boyfriend”: He views this primarily as a rejection, not a test. He advises against interrogating her or accusing her of lying; instead, acknowledge it lightly and move on or end the interaction. He notes that someone may choose to disengage for moral reasons, and says a boyfriend can make other obstacles more significant.
• Arguments about politics or religion: Avoid turning the conversation into a serious debate. He recommends redirecting the topic before it becomes contentious.
• “Why are you talking to us?” or “Who invited you?”: He interprets this as a group member trying to reject or remove him. Possible responses include briefly speaking with the person he is interested in or trying to win the group over, though he says this often fails.
• A group saying it needs the bathroom: If the interaction has gone poorly and the group seems eager to leave, he treats this as a likely rejection. If it seems like a practical bathroom break, he suggests walking with them and seeing how they re-engage afterward.
• Direct insults such as “You’re ugly”: He says these are insults, not tests. He suggests avoiding anger, lightly pointing out the rudeness, and trying to reset the conversation—or recognizing that it may be over.
• “You’re too old/young for me”: He considers this a real objection that calls for a tactful response, such as a light reframe or joke. A simple question about someone’s age, by contrast, is usually just conversation.

Mildly annoying situations and suggested responses

• “Can you buy me a drink?” He says the issue is often the demanding tone, not the drink itself. Rather than eagerly agreeing or bluntly refusing, he suggests a conditional response, such as getting to know each other first.
• “Are you a player?” He recommends calmly accepting the implied compliment without embracing the label—for example, saying he is flattered she thinks he is attractive.
• “Are you just looking to hook up?” He describes this as a request for reassurance. His suggested approach is to be sincere without pretending attraction or sex is completely irrelevant.
• “Do I look fat/pretty?” He suggests lightly teasing the request for reassurance, then giving a straightforward, kind answer.
• Comparisons with exes: He advises not showing insecurity or anger. Redirect the conversation; if the comparisons continue, tease about the repetition rather than escalating.
• Questions about how many people someone has slept with: He recommends staying composed and focusing on the context or story behind the answer rather than treating the number as a score. He also discusses managing the impression the answer creates.
• Requests for favors: Treat ordinary, reasonable requests as normal. If someone is repeatedly demanding, respond lightly at first and set a firmer boundary if the pattern continues.
• “Is that your pickup line/routine?” He sees this as a relatively minor challenge. A brief, relaxed response is usually enough; there is no need to treat it as a rejection of the whole interaction.
• “I’m mad at you”: He says this may point to a specific issue that needs discussing. Ask what is wrong and address it without becoming defensive.

Situations he says are usually neutral or positive

• “What do you do for a living?” or “How old are you?” He says these are usually ordinary questions, not judgments. Answer conversationally rather than becoming defensive or trying too hard to impress.
• Arriving late or cancelling a date: He advises against turning a minor delay or communicated cancellation into a major conflict. He considers a proposed alternative date a positive sign; a no-call, no-show is more concerning.
• “We’re not having sex tonight”: He interprets this as often meaning sex is on her mind, especially if there has not just been a rejected advance. He recommends responding without pressure and taking things at her pace.
• “I hate you” or “You’re the worst”: In an otherwise playful, flirtatious exchange, he says these may be teasing signs of emotional investment rather than literal hostility.
• “You don’t spend enough time with me”: He frames this as generally indicating that she wants more of the person’s company, though it may be inconvenient if he does not want a more serious relationship.

The video focuses on dating interactions; it does not offer wellness, self-care, or productivity strategies.

Presenter and source

• Todd (Todd V Dating) — presenter and source of the advice.