Amiga CD32 - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

The Angry Video Game Nerd Takes on the Amiga CD32

The Angry Video Game Nerd reviews the Amiga CD32, calling it the console that effectively helped finish off Commodore’s downfall. He frames the whole thing as a disaster fueled by greed, business missteps, and a lineup that feels cursed—then proves it by sampling a stack of games that are, in his words, barely playable, confusing, or outright broken.

Main Plot / Through-Line

• The Nerd starts with Commodore’s broader history, then zeroes in on the CD32 as the “straw that broke the camel’s back.”
• He claims the console never properly launched in the US because of patent royalty demands, and that it was discontinued within months, leaving it as a short-lived, overpriced joke.
• From there, he physically struggles with the hardware/software and the review becomes a nonstop barrage of:
  • bad controls
  • broken starts
  • baffling gameplay design
  • ridiculous audio/visuals

Key Highlights and Standout Moments

Hardware / Boot Troubles

• The console won’t start normally—he eventually realizes the power button is on the back.
• Some games won’t spin unless he holds the disc hatch down, turning basic playback into a wrestling match.
• He even uses a “paint can” add-on—a classic AVGN-style joke about weird aftermarket solutions—to try to make things work.

“Dangerous Streets” (Fighting Game)

• He’s baffled by the button labeling, especially which input is “Fire,” mocking the lack of sensible layout.
• He criticizes the character roster, describing it as a confusing parade of grotesque/absurd fighters (including one Native American character he claims “looks like he’s taking a shit”).
• Despite how awful it is, he somehow keeps winning, adding to the feeling that the game is less “bad but playable” and more randomly broken.
• He laughs at the versus screen voice samples, calling them hilarious.

“Super Putty”

• Without pressing Start, it dumps him into an unskippable demo—but pressing Start only pauses the demo, which he calls especially stupid.
• Gameplay is described as a fever dream: a blue “ball” punches mushrooms, babies appear, and the baby-related sound design drives him insane.

“Morph”

• A brief “okay idea” moment: a puzzle-platformer where you transform into different ball forms with different abilities.
• He immediately undercuts it, arguing the CD32 context ruins everything—supporting his overall thesis that the platform makes even decent concepts worse.

“Naughty Ones”

• Creepy mood mixed with upbeat music; the contrast feels unsettling to him.
• “Up” is used as jump again, which he criticizes as inconsistent control convention—but he gives the game a qualified pass because at least it’s straightforward.

“Beavers”

• The tone whiplashes between cute and horrifying, which he finds extremely jarring.
• The opening includes a disturbing visual/animation moment.
• Gameplay is fast, punishing, and chaotic.
• He can’t beat the first level and refuses to even joke further, insisting that by his standards it’s already “high-class internet content” without extra help.

“Gloom” (Doom Knock-Off)

• He notes the game plays happy music constantly, while the visuals are blurry and miserable.
• He calls it a watered-down Doom imitation with repetitive levels, weird collectibles (gun balls, baby bottles for health), and a headache-inducing presentation.
• He praises only:
  • the gore option naming (“Meaty” vs “Messy”)
  • the fact that it affects performance (slows down after too many kills)

“Oscar/Flair” Platformers

• Multiple Flair titles share the same “design sins”:
  • confusing jump controls
  • awful visuals
  • invisible enemies
  • difficulty that behaves badly
• For “Oscar,” he jokes about the number 69 being used as “Take,” acting like it must be intentional.
• He compares “Oscar” to disgusting bodily comparison humor—then moves on because it’s unbearable.

A Rare “NOT Shit” Moment: “Bubba ’N’ Stix”

• He’s surprised: the art/music are decent, and the gameplay uses puzzle-platformer logic with Stix as a tool.
• He laughs at a funny conversation-based mechanic: throw Stix at enemies.
• Still, he quits after the second level becomes confusing.

“Surf Ninjas” Tie-In

• He calls it a joke of a game unrelated to the movie, likely a repackaged beat ’em up.
• One of his biggest rage points: the design where jumping hurts you—in a ninja game, he feels it defeats the point.
• He does a full comic skit calling James from Cinemassacre to ask whether the movie includes ripping out a heart:
  • James says no
  • then the call ends abruptly with insults

“Kang Fu” (GREED)

• He spends a long time mocking:
  • the extremely slow boot process
  • infinite black screens
  • instructions warning that the CD32 memory won’t clear unless you follow a weird ritual
• When it finally runs, he declares it the worst game in the stack:
  • chaotic art style mismatches
  • nonsensical fighting
  • an insane game-over image (a realistic kangaroo skeleton photo)
• He escalates into conspiracy-level humor: “psychopaths developing this.”

“Zool”

• He dismisses it quickly as average/forgettable, saying it’s basically similar to a previously covered version.

Final Wrap-Up / Conclusion

He lands a harsh verdict: the Amiga CD32 is the equivalent of “hyena diarrhea”—a disgusting aftereffect of dead computing dreams.

Then he finds a terrifying disc warning:

“Warning: do not play Track 1… on any audio CD player.”

The video ends on ominous music and a loud drum beat, implying that that specific track is especially nasty.

Main Jokes / Recurring Reactions

• His biggest comedic tools include:
  • bodily-function analogies for the console and its games
  • repeated rage at button controls (especially jump being mapped to Up)
  • hardware incompetence jokes (holding the hatch down, power button placement)
  • over-the-top claims that developers/designers are incompetent or “psychopaths”
  • the Cinemassacre call to James as a mock “expert verification” bit

Appearing Personalities

• The Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) — the main narrator/performer
• James Rolfe / “James” from Cinemassacre — appears via phone call during the “Surf Ninjas” heart-ripping question