How "Adulting" is Holding Back a Generation

Overview

The video argues that the label “adulting”—and the broader culture surrounding it—infantilizes normal life development and contributes to a generation (especially Millennials and Gen Z) delaying maturity.

The creator explains that “adulting” was originally used to congratulate them for major milestones (like moving out and buying a house at age 26). However, they claim the word is patronizing because it treats ordinary responsibility milestones as if they were exceptional achievements.

They also argue that many people are now “refusing to grow up”, often by:

• living with parents longer,
• staying underemployed, and
• halting healthy mental development.

Core Causes (Economic + Cultural)

The creator claims a major driver is economic shock layered on top of cultural expectations. They argue Millennials faced a series of disruptions while young, including:

• the Iraq war era,
• the 2008 crisis, and
• the pandemic.

They further argue that housing and living costs became disconnected from wages, making traditional “success steps” harder, such as:

1. college
2. a good job
3. marriage
4. buying a house
5. having kids

As a result, some people may feel like failures and give up, either by:

• living at home longer, or
• settling into minimal-effort lifestyles.

The Creator’s Criticism

While acknowledging that life can be expensive and that therapy can help, the creator strongly criticizes what they see as a permissive social norm:

• unemployment or minimum-wage work without plans to improve
• living with parents while not becoming genuinely independent

They emphasize that the issue isn’t where someone lives, but whether they can function responsibly as an autonomous adult—such as:

• paying bills,
• cooking/cleaning,
• maintaining self-sufficiency, and
• building a life without depending on others.

“Story Times” (Dating Examples)

The creator illustrates these ideas through two dating “story times” shared in late the prior year:

1. A man who suggested casual meetups (walks, Tim Hortons)

   • Eventually, he disclosed he couldn’t afford even a modest dinner (around $20–$30).
   • The creator frames this as not just about money, but about lifestyle stage and a lack of desire to change his situation long-term.

2. An older man in his 40s living with his mother

   • He had to cancel or delay a second date because he forgot to tell her he was going out.
   • His mother made spaghetti and “meatballs.”
   • The creator’s friend group humorously labeled him “mommy’s meatballs,” using it as evidence of juvenile dependence and reluctance to prioritize adult independence.

Conclusion: What Counts as “Success”

The creator says they don’t view homeownership as the only measure of success. They argue that:

• renting is fine,
• roommates can be fine,
• and not everyone needs the same path.

However, they reject relationships where a partner:

• can’t cover their share, or
• relies on the other person (practically or emotionally) “like a mom.”

They also argue people have more options than before to improve their situation, including:

• degrees,
• trades,
• freelancing,
• and learning skills online.

So staying stuck unemployed or underemployed is portrayed as driven by lack of self-respect and ambition, not solely by circumstance.

Social Environment Claim (“The Five People” Idea)

The video ends by applying the idea of “the five people you spend the most time around” to argue that social environments can normalize stagnation—such as:

• debt,
• heavy drinking,
• or other patterns of non-improvement.

The creator’s underlying claim is that if growing up is treated as rare or commendable only when people “adult,” then stagnation may become the default—rather than expected self-development.

Presenters or contributors

• The video’s main speaker/creator (name not provided in the subtitles)
• BetterHelp (sponsor mentioned in the video)