Beáta Hlohovská: V role obete si stále priťahujete tých istých ľudí | ČASŤ ROZHOVORU

Summary

Host Adela speaks with her therapist, Beáta Hlohovská, about etikoterapia—a form of therapy that Hlohovská describes as helping people recognize and change habitual patterns. She says the aim is not for a therapist to “fix” someone, but to guide them toward self-understanding and self-directed change.

Key strategies and ideas

• Choose a therapist by how the relationship feels. Hlohovská recommends noticing whether you feel accepted, supported, and genuinely listened to—not relying only on impressive explanations or credentials. An initial sense of discomfort is not automatically proof that a therapist is unsuitable; the fit may become clearer over later sessions.
• Notice when you are stuck in a victim role. Repeatedly focusing on blame can keep a person circling the same story rather than exploring what they can change. Hlohovská describes the therapist’s role as gently redirecting attention toward the person’s own patterns and choices.
• Take responsibility for your response, not for every circumstance. Hlohovská distinguishes between being responsible for everything that happens and being responsible for one’s attitude and actions in response to a situation.
• Accept reality before trying to change your experience of it. The conversation emphasizes acknowledging what has happened—including painful events—rather than insisting it should not have happened. Acceptance is presented as a way to loosen the hold of resentment and unfulfilled expectations.
• Practice noticing automatic habits. A first step is recognizing that a familiar reaction is happening; then, with repeated practice, choosing a different response. Hlohovská gives the example of noticing self-pity or a victim-like reaction and pausing before acting from it.
• Use a simple body-awareness exercise. When thoughts feel overwhelming, she suggests briefly observing the body breathing without trying to control the breath. She says this can interrupt the stream of thoughts and help restore a sense of balance.
• View childhood experiences with perspective and compassion. Hlohovská uses the metaphor of looking at childhood “from the fourth floor”: seeing painful memories from a broader vantage point, rather than only through anger, judgment, or self-blame. She suggests recognizing that parents may have done the best they could, without denying that harm occurred.
• Let go of ongoing mental battles in relationships. Adela recalls advice to fully accept a partner before ending a relationship. The idea is that continued anger and demands that an ex-partner should have behaved differently can keep someone emotionally tied to the relationship.
• Respond to fear with compassion and acceptance. Discussing fear of war, Hlohovská suggests acknowledging the fear and having compassion for people affected by conflict, while focusing on the struggles and choices within one’s own sphere of influence.
• Recognize pressure and performance expectations. They discuss how pressure to achieve, be useful, and follow a conventional life path can affect young people and children. Hlohovská describes seeing distress when children are overloaded with activities or expected to comply without discussion.

Hlohovská also describes etikoterapia as relating to ethos—custom or habit—not etiquette. She presents it as a way of identifying old patterns and developing new ones. Her broader claims about patterns, illness, and life events are presented as her therapeutic perspective.

Presenters and sources

• Adela — host of ADELA trochu inak; surname not stated in the subtitles.
• Beáta Hlohovská — guest and etikoterapeutka (ethical therapist).
• Dr. Bezdek — mentioned by Hlohovská as the founder of etikoterapia and a contributor to Slovak psychosomatics.