What Being A Player Taught Me About Women

Summary

The speaker recounts how his high-school relationship began to fail in 2021. Over the next two years, he dated extensively and learned about attraction. He says the experience taught him useful lessons, though some habits he developed later made it harder to sustain relationships.

Key Lessons

• Money isn’t essential for casual dating. The speaker says he dated while broke and living in a crowded basement apartment. Money may help sustain a relationship, but he believes it isn’t necessary to meet people.
• Have a consistent way to meet new people. He calls this a “dating strategy.” Online dating was his main source of dates, supplemented by socializing and occasional cold approaches. His central point is to create regular opportunities to meet compatible people rather than focusing on a few people who may not be interested.
• A high partner count may reflect lower standards. He argues that sleeping with more people can result from being more willing to compromise on whom you choose, and says a high partner count isn’t necessarily something to envy.
• People differ in how quickly they feel comfortable with intimacy. Wanting to take things slowly doesn’t automatically mean someone isn’t attracted or interested. The speaker says respecting another person’s pace helped him avoid missing out on a lasting relationship.
• Some social skills require real-world experience. He says it can be difficult to learn from videos alone how to recognize flirting, distinguish it from friendliness, and gauge when to move toward intimacy.
• A meaningful relationship can be harder to find than casual intimacy. Casual encounters became less fulfilling over time, while genuine connection improved his life. He presents a healthy, lasting relationship—not a high number of hookups—as the more valuable goal.

Notable Details

The speaker mentions his current partner, a two-bedroom basement apartment shared with two friends, online dating apps, and his work delivering by bicycle for Uber. He also refers to his free online community and looksmaxing course.