Aristotle's Three Categories of Friendship

Aristotle’s Three Categories of Friendship

Dean Martin argues that relationships—not just skills, degrees, or job titles—can shape a person’s career, leadership, and personal growth. Workplace friendships influence collaboration, innovation, morale, and how people show up at work.

Drawing on Aristotle’s framework, Martin describes three kinds of friendship:

Friends of Utility

These relationships are based on mutual benefit, such as exchanging favors or helping a colleague with a presentation. They can be useful, but they depend on reciprocity; one-sided taking can damage trust. If all workplace relationships are purely transactional, they may fall apart when circumstances change.

Martin recommends approaching these friendships with curiosity and generosity rather than keeping score.

Friends of Pleasure

These are colleagues whose company makes work more enjoyable, such as lunch companions, coffee partners, or after-work friends. These relationships can lift morale and build team spirit, though they may fade when someone changes jobs.

They can also create problems through cliques, gossip, or blurred boundaries. The goal is to enjoy the camaraderie while remaining professional and inclusive.

Friends of the Good

These are deeper, trust-based relationships that extend beyond a particular job. Mentors, champions, and partners in this category support someone through both success and difficulty, without expecting something in return.

Martin describes these friendships as a foundation for growth, leadership, and legacy.

Martin’s Experiences

Martin shares how a supervisor at his first job after college invested in him as a person and gave him opportunities that helped him imagine a broader future. He also recalls mentors who offered wisdom, confidence, access, and examples of authentic, vulnerable leadership.

Practical Guidance for Building Lasting Friendships

• Show up consistently.
• Offer support without keeping score.
• Lead with your values.
• Ask genuine questions and listen fully.
• Be someone others can trust, especially during difficult times.
• Seek relationships based on integrity and shared growth, not networking alone.
• Value the people who support you, and offer the same support to others.

The central lesson is that utility and pleasure friendships both have a place at work, but relationships rooted in trust and mutual growth are more likely to shape a career and endure beyond it.

Speakers and Sources

• Speaker: Dean Martin, co-founder and CEO of Wellwithall.
• Framework source: Aristotle, whose three categories of friendship are discussed.
• People mentioned as examples: Erskin BS (as rendered in the subtitles), David Thomas, and Tara Edelchick. Martin discusses them; they do not speak in the subtitles.