Soren's Story: How One Detransitioner Found Peace Outside of Medicalization

Summary

Soren Aldaco describes identifying as transgender at 11, beginning hormone treatment at 17, and having a double mastectomy at 19. She says family circumstances, a close relationship, and a youth support group influenced her path. She recalls that the group focused heavily on transition-related treatments and experiences. She also describes serious post-surgical complications and feeling that her concerns were not taken seriously.

After continuing to live as a man for six months, a sociology class and reflections on her younger sister helped her reconsider her sense of self. She later stopped cross-sex hormones, while noting uncertainty about her fertility and grief over possible effects on her future. She argues that care should distinguish between helping someone and simply affirming or enabling a course of action.

Wellness and self-care approaches she describes

• Mindfulness: Notice difficult emotions—including anxiety, depression, or dysphoria—instead of immediately trying to suppress or escape them.
• Self-compassion: Acknowledge that an experience is hard and respond to oneself with the kindness she had long wanted from others.
• Reflection: Consider how one would respond to a loved one expressing the same painful beliefs about their body. She says thinking about her sister helped her question her own self-judgment.
• Self-acceptance: Give oneself room to understand who one is without feeling compelled to constantly monitor or change oneself.
• Support with boundaries: She says compassionate support may include firm limits, rather than automatically providing requested drugs or referrals.
• Recognize uncertainty about the future: She cautions that young people may not know how today’s choices could affect later goals, relationships, or parenthood.

She says mindfulness and self-compassion have helped her navigate difficult feelings, though she still struggles with mental health under stress. These are her personal reflections, not a universal clinical guide.

Presenter/source: Soren Aldaco, speaking in a video from Independent Women.