Jens Corssen am HPI über Gedankenmanagement (26.10.2009)

Key wellness / self-care / productivity strategies from the talk (Jens Corssen / Jens Korssen)

1) “Thought software” & self-audit (update your mental programming)

• Treat recurring problems as outdated internal “software” (assumptions, rules, expectations).
• Notice unhelpful thought patterns early—especially complaining/whining, which keeps the same experience “running.”
• Do a “software investigation”:
  • Write definitions (e.g., marriage, success, love).
  • Identify assumptions about what “should” be true.
  • Check whether those assumptions support your real goals.

2) Replace “I have to” with “I want to” (responsibility > helplessness)

• Stop waiting for others or life to change.
• Reframe obligations as choices:
  • “I have to” → “I want to (for now / for this reason).”
• Take personal agency: if a situation persists, you’re learning to choose it differently—or change your approach.

3) Self-management = composure (especially in “bad weather”)

• A core skill is staying composed when outcomes aren’t going as planned.
• Model: samurai-style composure while life tastes sour.
• In difficult moments, view events as training rather than proof of doom:
  • “The situation is my coach.”

4) “Charisma” through presence and stance

• Confidence is tied to how you position yourself psychologically.
• Practical framing:
  • If you’re anxious (sweaty palms / wobbly knees), see it as heroic activation—your nervous system is protecting you from defeat.
  • Use performance reframes instead of self-scolding.

5) Thought management / “chatterbox” monitoring

• Observe the automatic inner stream of judgments and comparisons (the “chatterbox”).
• Track common complaint scripts (examples mentioned):
  • “This can’t be true,” “This shouldn’t be,” self-judgment, comparing “yesterday vs. today.”
• When the chatterbox returns:
  • Greet it
  • Replace it with a more useful interpretation or next action.

6) Two core “enlightenment sentences”

• Sentence 1: “Everywhere I am at the moment, that’s where I want to be.”
  • Look for exceptions, but use it to reduce powerlessness.
• Sentence 2: “What is, is.”
  • Distinguish between reality and interpretations; confusion is treating thoughts as reality.

7) Stop naming/demonizing people; decouple person from behavior

• Give fewer “identity labels” (“idiot,” “stupid,” etc.).
• Separate:
  • Person = still worthy (“shining star”)
  • Behavior = what gets corrected/sanctioned
• Presented as especially important in relationships and child-rearing.

8) Communication rules for relationship stability

• The talk emphasizes that improving self/partner dynamics is more effective than trying to “fix” the other person.
• Don’t try to:
  • Convince the other person
  • Talk them out of their perspective
  • Offer unsolicited advice
  • Make unsolicited judgments
• Instead:
  • Work on yourself first (“the self-developer starts with themselves”)
  • Respect each person’s internal fear/thought system as coherent to them

9) Pain avoidance → psychosomatic/relational problems (choose “small pain” early)

• Many issues arise from avoiding necessary confrontation.
• Strategy offered: do the uncomfortable thing sooner:
  • “Pain, yes, immediately” instead of letting it grow.
• Examples:
  • Dentist analogy
  • Addressing problems early in marriage counseling rather than later with resentment/guilt
• In breakups: be direct and don’t over-explain motivations, to prevent prolonged negotiation.

10) Create options instead of “crisis thinking” (8-options mindset)

• Reframe “problems”:
  • The situation isn’t a problem itself; it’s favorable/unfavorable relative to your goal.
• Crisis doesn’t have to mean collapse for a long time—think “now/now/now.”
• Use an “options expansion” approach:
  • Don’t get stuck with only two reactions (fight/flight).
  • Generate multiple alternatives (the “eight options” framing).
• Example technique:
  • When you think “I have to go there again,” pause and ask:
    • “Do I want to go there? Who decides?”

11) Desensitization through repetition (for fear and social inhibition)

• A behavioral learning approach is mentioned:
  • Repeatedly expose yourself to discomfort to reduce fear response (vegetative desensitization).
• Example suggested:
  • Walk in a different environment and do a small action repeatedly (e.g., jump up every so often) for weeks to build mental stability.

12) Counterbalance your main life domain (prevent emotional over-dependence)

• If you’re overly “in love” with work (e.g., IT/studies), build counterbalances:
  • Friends
  • Social life / hobbies
  • A purpose beyond ego
• These “islands” help stability when one area is temporarily bad.

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Presenters / sources

• Presenter: Jens Corssen (also referenced as “Ken” / “Jens Korssen” in the subtitles)
• Source quoted/mentioned: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (quote referenced: “die and become” / “gloomy guest” mentality)
• Additional referenced sources: Marcus Aurelius (Roman emperor; “soul taking color of thoughts”)
• Other mentions (not necessarily endorsed): quantum mechanics / “quantum soup” (as analogy)
• Example names/settings from the talk: Schweinsteiger, Steffi Graf
• Not mentioned / no confirmed bibliography: “Schopenhauer”; no additional confirmed bibliography provided