The Most Raw Conversation I've Ever Had: Revisited

Conversation Summary

Photographer Chris approaches James in Dublin, complimenting his distinctive hat and coat. James says he is visiting his hometown before returning to London, where he lives. He explains that he uses his middle name because he has never felt comfortable with his first name.

James reflects on opportunities he feels he missed, such as building a career, becoming financially secure, and having a family. He calls himself the “could have been man” and says he has been lonely for much of his life. He recalls his cold, distant relationship with his mother and how he wished for the warmth he saw other children receive from their parents. After returning from time abroad, he spent 22 years without close friends.

Despite these regrets, James says he is not bitter. He is proud of two plays he wrote and says making strangers laugh comes naturally to him. Chris responds kindly, describing James’s openness and character as admirable.

Key Lesson

James says he has little tolerance for bullying or putting people down. Looking back, he wishes he had been more willing to tell people how he felt rather than holding back to avoid hurting them.

People and Places

• People: James, the interviewee; Chris, the portrait photographer
• Locations: Dublin and London
• James also mentions having lived in North and South America.