I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006) KILL COUNT

Summary

James Janisse opens by warning that the movie’s flashy editing may bother photosensitive viewers, then tears into its awkward performances, clunky editing, and lack of originality. He describes the story as a weaker rerun of I Know What You Did Last Summer—except the fisherman is stalking teenagers in landlocked Colorado.

At a carnival, Amber and her friends stage a prank: PJ dresses as the legendary fisherman and attacks the group. But someone has moved the gym mats meant to cushion PJ’s escape, and he’s impaled on a tractor. Rather than confess, Amber, Colby, Zoe, and Lance agree to cover up the accident.

A year later, the guilt-ridden friends start receiving ominous messages and seeing the fisherman again. Roger, who has been struggling badly with what happened, is killed in a graphic hook attack. The others try to identify the person behind the threats, suspecting PJ’s father, Sheriff Davis, and later Deputy Hafner.

Meanwhile, the movie gives James plenty to mock, including a dubious karaoke-style threat, painfully obvious dubbed singing, and what he calls truly unfortunate cinematography.

The body count keeps climbing: Zoe is slashed to death, Colby is hooked and dragged through a small window, Sheriff Davis is killed, and Hafner is impaled on a forklift. James singles out Hafner’s death as the film’s best moment, praising its practical effects.

The killer is finally revealed as zombie Ben Willis, the fisherman from the earlier films. Amber shreds him with a snowblower, but James refuses to count him—he’s already undead, and, as he jokes, he learned his lesson from Zombieland. The movie ends a year later with Amber stranded by a flat tire as the fisherman appears behind her.

Final Tally

• Victims: Six
• Golden Chainsaw: Deputy Hafner’s forklift impalement
• Dull Machete: The rest of the movie

Personalities and Characters Featured

James Janisse; Amber, Colby, Zoe, Lance, PJ, Roger, Sheriff Davis, Deputy Hafner, and Ben Willis.